Decisions
by Sth10
Summary: Fourth in the Father and Son series. Claire Boulton realises it's time to get out of CIB and her double life for the sake of husband John and son Adam. The only question is how.


Fourth in the Father and Son series.Claire Boulton realises it's time to get out of CIB and her double lifefor the sake of husband John and son Adam. The only question is how.

**DECISIONS**

Claire Stanton pulled into the kerb and killed the Focus engine. Getting out, she glanced to the car parked in front of her. A silver BMW. Don's car. Hardly unusual; he practically lived there. He and John had always been virtually inseparable. But Don Beech was the last thing she needed right at that moment.

She walked slowly up the front steps to slip her key into the front door lock. She and John had barely bought the three-bedroomed Victorian house a month ago, but it already felt like home. The rooms were big, the road quiet and the garden large enough for eighteen-month-old Adam to run about in to his heart's content. Best of all, there were no drunks or rowdy youths stumbling up and down in the middle of the night, like there had been in the street of John's cramped old flat. It was just a pity the rest of CID seemed to think she and John had extended an open-house invitation the day they moved in.

"Mum home!" She heard Adam's yell the second she closed the door behind her. She barely had time to throw her jacket onto the coat pegs before her son hurtled through and hurled himself at her, arms wrapping round her legs in an affectionate hug.

Adam Boulton, even at his young age, was showing what a devastatingly handsome boy he would grow into. His hazel eyes, identical to John's, shone with life even as his blond mop of hair threatening to flop into them. His cheeky smile seemed to stretch right across his face and he bounced everywhere with an energy that couldn't be exhausted or extinguished. No one found it hard to understand why his parents adored him.

Claire swung him up into her arms and gave him a kiss. "You all right, sweetheart?"

"Uncle Don here, Mum!"

"Is he?" Claire forced a smile. "That's great."

Adam beamed and wriggled down out of her arms to charge back into the living room. Claire was left standing in newly decorated hallway, taking in the chaotic state of the house she'd left perfect just that morning. The stairs, directly in front of her on the left of the hallway, had become home to Adam's toys and a pair of John's jeans, for some reason. Two leather jackets and a child's fleece had been tossed onto the floor so they lay right beneath the coat pegs. The hallway table, meant to be for letters and keys, was covered with a collection of car and rugby magazines. Claire blew her hair back.

"Been cleaning up, have you, John?" she shouted through.

"Have a good day?" John yelled back, skilfully avoiding the question.

Claire shook her head and walked down the hallway to the first door. A quick glance into the living room revealed Don sprawled in one of the armchairs, with Adam in his lap, and John stretched out across the couch. A rugby match blared on the TV and the coffee table held several bottles of Bud.

"You all right, Claire?" Don glanced up with a grin.

"Fine, thanks." She didn't go into details.

She took a bottle off the coffee table, leaning down to give John a kiss as she did. He'd been in court all day, and had decided not to bother going into the office after the hearing had been wrapped up early.

"Did you remember to pick up that shopping?"

"Yeah. Most of it."

Don grinned again. "You'd better watch you, mate. She'll have you being a house husband before long."

"Get stuffed!" John retorted playfully.

Claire left them to their rugby and retreated to the far end of the hallway and the sanctuary of the kitchen. At least that was relatively tidy. The lads hadn't had chance to descend on it and 'cook' before the match had started. Claire grabbed a glass off the draining board and poured her Bud into it.

"John, has Ad eaten?"

"Yeah. We stopped off at McDonald's on the way back from the nursery."

"Oh, very health-conscious."

"Did you want us to starve or something?" John wasn't in the mood to be serious.

Claire stuck her head round the living room door as she passed on her way upstairs. "No, darling, not Ad. But you are another matter." She smiled sweetly and left him to figure that one out.

Up in the quietness of their room, she sank down onto the bed and kicked off her shoes. God, she was knackered. It was all getting too much now. She'd wanted to punch Hodges when they'd met that morning. She didn't know how much longer she could keep the charade up for…

Her gaze moved to the bedside table, to the picture frame containing a photo of John and Adam. She'd never seen John looking so happy. He adored his son, and she knew he also adored her. She didn't want that to change. She didn't want to lose his love. She'd never felt the same way about any man that she did about John. What they had was something special, and she couldn't bear to put it all on the line by telling him what she really did when she went to visit her 'mum'. She couldn't hurt him like that. She knew his life had never been so good, after all the years of hardship and uncertainty he had endured.

The worse thing was, she wasn't sure how he would react. Would he go mad? Would he throw her out and tell her she could never see Ad again? Would he walk out? Or would he just become like a stranger, never trust her again? She didn't want him to do any of those things, but she knew there was a good chance he would do all of them. She knew how he felt about CIB officers and she also knew how close he was to Don; they were like brothers. He'd never stand for someone screwing up his best mate's life.

In her heart, Claire knew she couldn't tell John. She couldn't jeopardise the happiness she had only just found, run the risk of losing the only man she'd ever truly loved. There had to be some other way out the whole damn mess. She just didn't know what it was…

X X X

Claire didn't sleep that night. She lay in bed next to the wiped-out John, watching his strong, bare chest rise and fall with every breath. Eventually, at about 2am, she slipped out of bed and padded across the hallway into Adam's room.

Her son was also dead to the world, his mop of blond hair falling forward over his closed eyes, as he lay curled up on his side. Claire sat down next to his bed, carefully sweeping his hair back. She knew that it wasn't only her and John's happiness she could destroy by coming clean, but Adam's as well. She couldn't put him through possibly losing one of the parents he adored. She had to think about him in everything as well as John. Adam was just as important as him.

For what seemed like hours she just sat there, watching her sleeping son. God, she didn't know what to do. The only thing she knew was that she had to get out of CIB before it was too late and things went too far for her to be able to back out. The strangest thing was, she now found she didn't want to catch Don Beech any more. She wasn't interested in him. She cared about her husband and her son, not about nailing John's best mate who undeniably got some seriously good results. She didn't want to spend her days creeping around trying to find exactly what Don got up to, when she really couldn't give a toss.

A smile crept across her face as she imagined Hodges' reaction if she ever snapped and told him all that. He'd hit the roof. Actually, it could be quite satisfying…

Adam stirred in his sleep, making Claire start slightly. She reached over and softly smoothed his hair as he settled down again with a little sigh of satisfaction. Adam worshipped his Uncle Don, thought he was God's gift to the world. She didn't want to take the man he loved away from him. Whatever else he was, Don was a good godfather and Claire knew he would always love Ad as if he was his own son. She couldn't help but be glad knowing that Adam would always have someone who cared for him.

She'd got a lot closer to Don since Ad had been born, come to think of it. They'd sat and talked occasionally if Don dropped round to see him, when John was out. Nothing serious, nothing deep like he had with John, but a conversation all the same. There'd been times when Claire had almost found herself liking Don. Maybe, just maybe, he'd grown comfortable enough with her now to really listen to her. Maybe he'd trust her enough to understand if she warned him off.

But could she tell Don what she really was? What if he went running to John? Would he? If he did, he'd have to reveal why she'd been watching him. She knew that Don wouldn't risk his friendship with John, and his relationship with Adam, just to grass her up. She also knew he wasn't stupid. He might just see what he could get out of the situation… He might see it was his only way out, his only hope. If she went in hard enough, she just might be able to hit him where it hurts, in his heart.

Don had changed since Adam's birth. He felt as if he had responsibilities. There was just a chance that those responsibilities would be enough to turn him to her way of thinking. And if he did, the rest would be child's play. She could get Hodges to drop the case against Don completely; she knew how to handle her prat of a boss. John would never need know; Don would never tell him and neither would she. Her life needn't be ruined.

Could she take the chance? Could she run such a huge risk of letting Don know CIB were onto him? Was it really worth it? In her heart, Claire knew she didn't need to ask those questions. As she looked down at Adam, she found the answers.

X X X

She left early the next morning, telling John she was going to drop in at her mother's on the way to work. John, as usual, was more than happy to take Adam to nursery and she left them chattering happily over cereal.

For once, she wasn't going to meet Hodges. Instead, she drove across Sun Hill to an expensive block of riverside flats she'd only been too a couple of times before. She took the stairs up the top floor, the penthouse, and found the door she wanted. It took a few minutes for her knock to be answered.

"Claire. What you doing here?" Don stood in the doorway in his dressing gown, unshaven and still half-asleep.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, course you can. Something up? Is Ad okay?"

"Course he is. He's with John."

Don led the way through to the big, expensive living room. "So, what can I do for you?"

Claire didn't wait to be offered a seat. Don raised an eyebrow before dropping into the armchair. His eyes watched her questioningly.

"What's going on, Claire?"

She had to force the words out. "Do you know who I really am, Don?"

A confused frown creased his forehead. "What you on about?"

Claire silently reached into her pocket and drew out her warrant card - her real warrant card. Without a word, she handed it to Don. As he opened it, his expression turned from confusion to panicked surprise.

"CIB?" he whispered.

She only needed to nod.

Wild eyes fixed on her face. "You're CIB?"

"I'm working undercover at Sun Hill. Trying to pin evidence of corruption on you."

"Does John know about this!" Don rose to his feet.

"Sit down, Don."

He didn't move.

"_Now!_"

Don looked at her for a minute, before collapsing back into the armchair. "You're trying to fit me up?"

"Oh, pull the other one! Everyone knows you're as bent as a nine bob note!"

"What you talking about?"

"Don, I know you're dodgy. I know you watch peoples' back, take backhanders, destroy cases…"

"Claire!"

"Just shut up and listen for a minute!"

Don refused to be silent. "You here to nick me? Coz if you are, just get on with it and stop all this crap!"

"I'm not gonna nick you, Don. No one knows I'm here."

The panic was rapidly turning to confusion. "You've lost me, Claire."

Claire raked back her hair. "Look, Don. I can't say I've got much against you. You're John's best mate, you're Ad's godfather, you're practically part of the family."

"I love John and Ad. I'd never do anything to hurt them!"

"I know that! That's why I'm here!"

"What?"

Claire drew in a long breath. "I don't want John and Ad hurt by any of this…"

"You mean by them finding out you're CIB?"

"You know damn well John's never going to stand for it, let alone me trying to nick you."

Don nodded. "So, what'd you want?"

"First, I want you to promise me _none_ of this is _ever_ gonna get back to John, or Ad. Or anyone else for that matter."

"Okay, I promise."

Claire squeezed her eyes shut. The words were the hardest words she'd ever had to say. "I'm gonna get the case against you dropped, Don."

"You're what?" Don sounded as if he didn't dare believe it.

"I'm not gonna risk what I've got just so my boss can have you. I don't give a damn about you, Don! All I care about is John and Ad. I don't want them to get hurt. By me being CIB or by you being bent."

"You telling me you're going to make sure CIB back off?"

"This isn't without conditions, Don. And just remember this conversation never happened."

"Yeah, sure. Go on, tell me." Don's eyes had calmed again.

"You've got to stop everything that you're up to now. And I mean _everything._ If I ever find out you've even looked at something dodgy, I'm gonna have CIB down on you like a ton of bricks…"

"I've got you."

"I don't want you telling John any of this…"

"What sorta idiot do you take me for! He'd kill me…!"

"And I don't want you to up and leave."

Don frowned again "Why the hell not? Don't you want me out of your hair for good?"

"No, Don. I want you to be around for Adam, and for John. I want you to be part of their lives, as a straight copper. So I can trust you with Ad, so I know that you're not gonna get John into any trouble… So you really can be our family."

Don eyes sparked with light. "That's what you want?"

"Yeah. Those are the conditions, but if I think up any more, you've got to agree to them, no questions asked."

Don nodded slowly.

"Have we got a deal, Don?"

Another nod. "Yeah. We've gotta deal." He stretched out his hand to her. Claire hesitated for just a second before she shook with him.

"You can't go back on this now, Don."

"Yeah. I know."

Claire watched him steadily for a minute. Then she got up. "I'll be watching you. You'd better not step a foot out of line."

"I won't. I promise."

She nodded and headed to the door.

"Claire?"

"What?"

"Thank you. For doing all this."

She gave a bitter laugh. "I'm not doing any of it for you, Don."

X X X

She tapped softly on the oak door.

"Yes?"

Just like she did every time, she walked straight in and sat down. "Morning, guv."

"Claire." He was already looking wary, knowing what normally happened when she dropped in unexpectedly. "Everything all right?"

Claire waved away the coffee pot he offered her. "We need to talk, guv."

"Do we? Is this about your husband?"

"No. Nothing to do with John."

"What then?"

"The Don Beech enquiry, guv…"

Hodges cut her off. "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. My superiors are getting a bit stirred-up. They want some results. Fast."

"That's why I'm here, guv."

"What?"

"Results. I don't think we're gonna get any."

"But we know Beech is bent!"

"Do we? For certain? Have we ever found any real evidence?"

"What're you trying to saying, Claire?"

"I'm saying that I think we've reached the end of the road on this."

Hodges raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

"Guv, just answer me this. If your superiors called you in right now and asked you about Don Beech, could you prove that he was bent?"

Hodges was silent. He never admitted anything. "Just get to the point, Claire."

"It's time we wrapped it up, guv. You know how much of the budget it's taking, and we're getting nowhere. The guvnors aren't gonna stand for it, are they?" She leant forward confidentially. "And you don't want to look bad, do you, guv? I mean, if they think you can't spread the budget where it's most needed, then who knows what they'll think of you."

He leapt for the bait, as expected. All he was ever worried about was himself. "You think the investigation's a black mark for me?"

"I'd say definitely, guv."

His forehead creased as he thought everything through. Claire fought back the smile that threatened to cross her face. She knew she had him. She could manipulate Hodges to jump off Big Ben if she tried hard enough. Underneath all his show, he was a weak guvnor and Claire knew it.

"How long have we got to go till the end of the month, Claire?"

"Nine days, guv."

He nodded. "Right, good. Okay, you're going to keep going till the end of the month. Then, if nothing happens, I'm going to have to take you off, Claire. We're wasting valuable resources on someone we've absolutely zero evidence against. There're more important things to concentrate on at the moment."

Claire wanted to leap up and punch the air. And punch Hodges at the same time. _Stupid bastard, taking all the credit, making sure it sounded like the whole thing had been his idea, that he'd worked everything out by himself and arrived at his conclusion completely unaided. Git._

"Right, guv." She stayed in control, showing no hint of emotion.

Hodges leant back again, satisfied. "Okay, then. Off you go. You'd better get everything gathered for your report."

"Right, guv." Claire got up and walked to the door.

As she grasped the handle, she turned back. "Oh, and, guv?"

"Yeah, Claire?"

"I've decided to quit CIB."

She left him there, open-mouthed and speechless and walked straight out, a huge grin plastered across her face.

X X X

Two days passed without incident. Don was a bit quieter than usual, not his usual extrovert self, but he showed no sign that anything had ever happened. He had little to say to Claire at work, although he wasn't hostile or angry towards her. If anything, he seemed slightly shy, as if grateful but not daring to show it.

After the end of a long day, John and Claire were sprawled across the couch in each other's arms, doing nothing but watching the TV. It was a rare night of peace, without any interruptions or either of them having to dive off somewhere. Adam played with his toy cars on the rug in front of them, occasionally shouting at the cop on the TV to hit someone.

"See? He's not even two and you've already got him introduced to violence." Claire dug John playfully in the ribs.

He grinned. "Two going on twenty-two, right?"

"You're telling me."

The sound of a key in the lock made them both sit up slightly. John was the first to relax back, reaching for the TV remote. "It'll be Don."

Sure enough, his best mate appeared in the living room doorway. "You all right?"

Adam hurled himself at his uncle, allowed himself to be lifted up. "Come and play football!"

"Nah, not at the moment, mate. Give us a minute, yeah?" Don crossed to the armchair and sat down, accepting the can of lager John held out to him.

"You get bored at home?" John asked.

"Something like that."

John sipped his own lager. "Something up?"

"No, mate. Just wanted to talk to you two about something."

Claire automatically stiffened. Her eyes flicked anxiously to Don, but he just looked back reassuringly.

"It's about Ad going to school."

"He's only two!" John laughed.

"Yeah, I know. But it's only two years away, innit?"

"So?"

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to send him to private school."

"Yes," Claire said.

"No." John came in at exactly the same moment.

They both glared at each other.

"All right! Don't argue about it now! Save it till later!" Don interrupted smoothly. "Look, I just wanted to say that if he does go private, I want to pay for his fees."

John frowned. "Why'd you want to do that?"

"Coz I think the world of him, you prat! I want to make sure he gets the best of everything."

"We can pay for it, Don," Claire put in.

"But you've got everything else; clothes, food, all of it. I just want to pay for his fees. Just so I'm doing something for him."

John and Claire glanced at each other.

"Really?" John spoke up.

"Course! Just let me; I've got more than a big-enough nest egg to comfortably afford it. You know how much I think of Ad. He deserves the best, you know?"

John smiled. "I haven't said yes to private school yet…"

Claire's elbow dug in his ribs again, making him yelp slightly. "But I have a feeling I might have soon."

Don grinned. "Will you let me, then?"

"If that's what you want, mate." John looked at Claire again.

"Yeah. That'd be great, Don." Her words were sincere.

He nodded and grinned. He raised his can and reached over to tap it against John's. "Here's to Ad, then. He'll make us all proud at school."

John nearly choked laughing on his lager. "Well, he can't do much worse than me!"

END


End file.
